I could have sworn I felt my heart grow heavy with sorrow but a couple nights ago, but not for the reasons one might believe. No, it was something I saw, or rather, someone...
A little girl, who couldn't have been more then six years old, came out of the cold snow and into the halls of Mercy's Keep. I watched her as she quickly rushed up to my nearby friend in that fluffy parka she wore and those little snow dusted boots. She spoke in the Ni-Kunni tongue, which fortunately I knew well enough, as she returned the lost datapad to Esna. As cute as she was, my heart began to sink as I saw the fear in her eyes when anyone new arrived. Her words to me confirmed it even more, the poor child was victim to a cruel slave holder.
That night I ended up relinquishing the mug of hot cocoa I had retrieved for myself into her small hands, knowing well she may have never have had something so rich tasting in her life. Even later I found myself rushing off to the solarium, if but to bring back a single rose bloom for her, despite having the wrath of the rose bush inflicted upon my left palm via a single thorn. I did it all just to see the poor child smile, and look forward to doing so again, when I hand over the goodies I bought in town just for her.
Those scars on her legs, the burn marks on her arm, the markings on her neck where I am sure a collar once was ...... it saddens me, and yet stirs a fury within me like no other. Even more so now that I know the monster responsible for the cruelty is still out there, hiding within the Kingdom and going without punishment. If I had but better skills at tracking down others, I would do just that, and make him pay for what he has done to something so innocent.
But ... tracking down others ... if I was any good at it, certain people would have been found by now....
Perhaps, I might have to ask for help in this... It is just... I feel as if I am more of a damsel in distress as of late then being able to stand up on my own feet as I use to.
... God, if you can hear me, please ... help me...
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Memories
A month has passed since my arrival to these stone walls that bear the name "Mercy's Keep." While I am slowly adjusting to being in my new surroundings, there is still so much I am not use to. For one thing, being planet side after so much time spent out in the heavens of space, it feels so alien to me. The richness of the decor, the placement of every bloom in the solarium, the luxury of being able to spare no expense of this place ..... I haven't been in such an environment even close to this since I was a child.
Rin pauses for a moment, pondering over her next written words carefully.
This place reminds me too much of just that....... my childhood. It brings back those memories I had thought long since buried under the sorrowful events of my parents' deaths and a few things after that transpired. The aches I felt from my first cyber knighthood implants, the often times painful training, how often things would break in my tiny hands due to undisciplined control over my enhanced strength, and the tears that often would follow from one so young ...
It might sound sorrowful, with what you know of my childhood already, but their were so many more happier memories that overshadowed the horrid ones. For every ache, pain and tear I had, there stood my father, who calmly and gently held onto me. I recall all the times he told me with his strong gentle voice why it was necessary we do these things, even though his family had long since banished him for unfair reasons. Traditions that we took upon ourselves, the training, the implants, they all helped define a part of who we are, as a way of remembering of those who came before us. He often followed his speeches with stories of the olden days, when our ancestors fought side by side with the Amarrian Knights, for the name of the Empire and God. How I loved hearing those tales, even up till I was but 14 years of age, when he and my mother .......
She sighs deeply and sorrowfully as she wipes a nearly formed tear from her eyes.
I won't deny, I miss him, and since arriving here, I often wonder if he would be proud of what I've become, and where I am now...
Shakes her head lightly.
Esna has told me before to stop torturing myself like this. I know I shouldn't, and I try not to think back on it all too much, but it's hard not to.
This place won't let me forget...
Rin pauses for a moment, pondering over her next written words carefully.
This place reminds me too much of just that....... my childhood. It brings back those memories I had thought long since buried under the sorrowful events of my parents' deaths and a few things after that transpired. The aches I felt from my first cyber knighthood implants, the often times painful training, how often things would break in my tiny hands due to undisciplined control over my enhanced strength, and the tears that often would follow from one so young ...
It might sound sorrowful, with what you know of my childhood already, but their were so many more happier memories that overshadowed the horrid ones. For every ache, pain and tear I had, there stood my father, who calmly and gently held onto me. I recall all the times he told me with his strong gentle voice why it was necessary we do these things, even though his family had long since banished him for unfair reasons. Traditions that we took upon ourselves, the training, the implants, they all helped define a part of who we are, as a way of remembering of those who came before us. He often followed his speeches with stories of the olden days, when our ancestors fought side by side with the Amarrian Knights, for the name of the Empire and God. How I loved hearing those tales, even up till I was but 14 years of age, when he and my mother .......
She sighs deeply and sorrowfully as she wipes a nearly formed tear from her eyes.
I won't deny, I miss him, and since arriving here, I often wonder if he would be proud of what I've become, and where I am now...
Shakes her head lightly.
Esna has told me before to stop torturing myself like this. I know I shouldn't, and I try not to think back on it all too much, but it's hard not to.
This place won't let me forget...
Monday, February 21, 2011
Who I Am and Was
Who am I? Why should you care about the words I wright or speak? What significance does it have on your life?
These are just a few of the questions that run through your mind now, as you ponder about the words I am about to lay before your own eyes. I cannot promise it will be of anything important to you or life changing. Nor will it open your eyes to a different point of view. There is no guarantee that there will even be glorious tales of victory on the battlefield or stories of the fallen. All that I do promise, if care to continue at all, is that is about my thoughts, my experiences, and most of all, who I am. This is my story.
Who am I, you ask again. I'm sure you're looking for a name, but throughout my life, I have been called many a names: darling daughter, ungrateful cur, a blasphemer, troublemaker, a lost soul, a Matari sympathizer, a bitch, a lover, a friend. The list can go on, and some of what I mention I have heard more then others, sadly. Though I believe the name you seek is the one given to me at birth: Ce'Rin Deleen Kaelestria. These days, however, I am content at just being called Rin.
What I am now, is a capsuleer, one of the so called "immortals" of the cluster of systems that make up New Eden. One who originated in within the Kingdom of Khanid and trained within the Amarr Empire itself. Before all that, I was once the daughter of a promising captain of the Royal Navy, who himself was a banished member of a noble Cyber Knight family. I suppose that makes me of noble blood as well, but I certainly don't feel as if I belong to any sort of nobility class. Not after all I have been through, and especially now, in the position I am in currently.
A few months back, I had found myself imprisoned within the Empire, under the charge of "aiding and abetting the enemy." That was hardly the truth, but it didn't matter. They had what they wanted to attract the person they really wanted, my missing love. I spent two grueling months there, submitted to constant religious brain washing, tortured and beaten at times when I resisted. Many of times, I found myself in solitary confinement, and on some of the more quiet nights, I thought for a brief moment I could hear my long since dead father talking to me, trying to comfort me in those hours of need.
I was in a terrible state a month ago when I was released into a Holder's care. For but a moment, I thought my life was about to get worse, only till I saw who the holder was. An old friend, one I met out in my time in the Great Wildlands, had come to my rescue. This friend, Esna Pitoojee, made me an offer, to be under his servitude for a while till it was safe to set me free, and in return for my service, he would help me. Considering that if set free now could land me back where I was prior, and knowing how Esna is towards those under his servitude, I took the deal. Alas, the deal came with a title I rather not wear and often try to hide these days...
That title is a slave.
These are just a few of the questions that run through your mind now, as you ponder about the words I am about to lay before your own eyes. I cannot promise it will be of anything important to you or life changing. Nor will it open your eyes to a different point of view. There is no guarantee that there will even be glorious tales of victory on the battlefield or stories of the fallen. All that I do promise, if care to continue at all, is that is about my thoughts, my experiences, and most of all, who I am. This is my story.
Who am I, you ask again. I'm sure you're looking for a name, but throughout my life, I have been called many a names: darling daughter, ungrateful cur, a blasphemer, troublemaker, a lost soul, a Matari sympathizer, a bitch, a lover, a friend. The list can go on, and some of what I mention I have heard more then others, sadly. Though I believe the name you seek is the one given to me at birth: Ce'Rin Deleen Kaelestria. These days, however, I am content at just being called Rin.
What I am now, is a capsuleer, one of the so called "immortals" of the cluster of systems that make up New Eden. One who originated in within the Kingdom of Khanid and trained within the Amarr Empire itself. Before all that, I was once the daughter of a promising captain of the Royal Navy, who himself was a banished member of a noble Cyber Knight family. I suppose that makes me of noble blood as well, but I certainly don't feel as if I belong to any sort of nobility class. Not after all I have been through, and especially now, in the position I am in currently.
A few months back, I had found myself imprisoned within the Empire, under the charge of "aiding and abetting the enemy." That was hardly the truth, but it didn't matter. They had what they wanted to attract the person they really wanted, my missing love. I spent two grueling months there, submitted to constant religious brain washing, tortured and beaten at times when I resisted. Many of times, I found myself in solitary confinement, and on some of the more quiet nights, I thought for a brief moment I could hear my long since dead father talking to me, trying to comfort me in those hours of need.
I was in a terrible state a month ago when I was released into a Holder's care. For but a moment, I thought my life was about to get worse, only till I saw who the holder was. An old friend, one I met out in my time in the Great Wildlands, had come to my rescue. This friend, Esna Pitoojee, made me an offer, to be under his servitude for a while till it was safe to set me free, and in return for my service, he would help me. Considering that if set free now could land me back where I was prior, and knowing how Esna is towards those under his servitude, I took the deal. Alas, the deal came with a title I rather not wear and often try to hide these days...
That title is a slave.
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